The First Meeting: A Guide for Intended Parents
This is it, the big day. You’re finally meeting the surrogate mother of your baby.
The first meeting is the next big step in your surrogacy journey and you want to make the right impression. As intended parents, you’ve probably dreamed of this day for a long time, and now that dream is becoming a reality, it can feel overwhelming.
Joy Of Life have made a guide for intended parents to support this part of the process, putting your mind at ease.
Need help finding a surrogate mother? Look here.
Preparation and Expectation
Preparation helps with self-resilience and flexibility, something that’s often required during surrogacy, so prepare for the different outcomes. This potential surrogate might not actually be the right match, and it’s important to be aware of that from the start.
Before the first meeting, you will receive a profile of your surrogate, giving you a chance to think of any questions. This could be regarding the surrogacy plan, or something lighthearted, like asking about her hobbies. The concept of the first meeting is to get to know each other and build trust.
2. Lighthearted Conversations and Thoughtful Listening
As intended parents, you’ll want to know as much as possible about your surrogate, as she will about you.
Be thoughtful in your questions, keeping it light and informal. This is not an interview, so put your surrogate at ease by making conversation she’s comfortable with. Keep it positive and friendly and listen to what she has to say.
Show your appreciation throughout your meeting. Express your gratitude and let them know what it means to you. Although surrogate mothers receive financial compensation, many women want to be a surrogate to bring joy and fulfillment to a family through new life. They will be heavily involved, experiencing emotional and physical changes, thorough medical examinations, in-depth home visits and background checks.
3. Communication is Key
Honesty is a crucial part of surrogacy. An open relationship between both parties establishes a strong connection. This is the opportunity to explain your plans and choose your form of contact, including how often you will be in touch and whether that’s in person or through scheduled video calls.
This might involve some compromising, but it’s best for both the surrogate and intended parents to be singing from the same hymn sheet.
If you want to know more about surrogacy, take a look here.
Remember, your first meeting as intended parents is an exciting one. Your surrogate mother will likely be feeling the same as you, so you’re already on the same page. Everything else will fall into place.
For more guidance on future parenting, we’re here to help.